Max: Defender of Household and Killer of Flies

It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's just an invasion of flies. The other day we were bombarded by flies. These flies did nothing but reproduce. I'm not sure if it was mating season or love was just in the air for these buzzing bastards but it was ridiculous. I'm not sure if there is a fly viagra out there, but if there is it is probably located in our garage where these fly-devils spawned their evil little fly babies. In order to protect the household, I mounted my fly armor and armed myself with the latest killing technology (aka I rolled up a magazine). I killed probably thirty flies in a day. But guess what? These flassholes (it's a mix of flies and assholes, clever I know) kept coming back! I even booby trapped outside with my secret fly killing recipes. After several days of hunting and killing  every single thing that buzzed in that god forsaken garage like I was some sort of Dirty Harry of fly-killing, I finally destroyed them all. The silence has returned and all is normal...for now. I have retired the newspaper but I'm ever vigilant for the return of these bastards.